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![244:365 - pinball:
today, we went to an awesome antiques store.
they had a stove that looked like it was from the 1920’s or earlier, and a manual crank washing machine. it really made realize what hard work life was back then. i could barely crank the washing machine or turn the gas levers on the stove.
i’d like to live like that for a while.
they had an old fashion pram, and a real working spindle.
they had all sorts of things that i would like to have.
i’d really like a home to decorate.
then we went to goodwill and sam made a comment that i should get a job in a halloween store, and we had a sort of contentious discussion about whether or not that was possible considering the state of my foot.
and that kind of started me on this spiral into a really bad horrible depression for the rest of the day, because i want a job. i’ve never really had one, and when we moved here i was ready and i was going to change that and i was going to have my first real job. and then i broke my fucking foot. and now i don’t know what to do. i feel like i can’t do anything, like i don’t really have any options.
and i don’t feel like i deserve things like a brace for my foot, i don’t feel like i’m worth that $75 or whatever it costs.
i’ve been sick since may, and i don’t feel like i’m worth spending money on a doctor. i’m mentally and physically tired of being sick, but i feel like making an appointment with and going to see a doctor will make me even more tired.
i don’t know.
i mean, this is a picture of a pinball machine.
[i wish i had had my polarizing filter with me for this shot.]](http://12.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpjgbfyq9T1qzo5z0o1_400.jpg)
244:365 - pinball:
today, we went to an awesome antiques store.
they had a stove that looked like it was from the 1920’s or earlier, and a manual crank washing machine. it really made realize what hard work life was back then. i could barely crank the washing machine or turn the gas levers on the stove.
i’d like to live like that for a while.
they had an old fashion pram, and a real working spindle.
they had all sorts of things that i would like to have.
i’d really like a home to decorate.
then we went to goodwill and sam made a comment that i should get a job in a halloween store, and we had a sort of contentious discussion about whether or not that was possible considering the state of my foot.
and that kind of started me on this spiral into a really bad horrible depression for the rest of the day, because i want a job. i’ve never really had one, and when we moved here i was ready and i was going to change that and i was going to have my first real job. and then i broke my fucking foot. and now i don’t know what to do. i feel like i can’t do anything, like i don’t really have any options.
and i don’t feel like i deserve things like a brace for my foot, i don’t feel like i’m worth that $75 or whatever it costs.
i’ve been sick since may, and i don’t feel like i’m worth spending money on a doctor. i’m mentally and physically tired of being sick, but i feel like making an appointment with and going to see a doctor will make me even more tired.
i don’t know.
i mean, this is a picture of a pinball machine.
[i wish i had had my polarizing filter with me for this shot.]
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